Long Rant. Read on to be bored or to get more proof that I am socially retarded, relatively. Christmas entry is not here, because Ari has yet to upload the pics. Otherwise, get out.

We all love freebies. It's human nature - rich or poor, you always want to have free stuff, even if you don't actually want or need it. Admit it: you grabbed promotional, “taste-test” morsels in the mall, supermarket, or the streets. You try your luck on fairs, contests, or raffles to get things for free. Heck, I am guilty of sneaking into free movie premieres, and will not hide my eagerness to grab yummy things vendors would hand out in supermarket (cheeeeeseee). Yes, The Beatles were right, "the best things in life are free," but we always forget that there are limits into this. We want them to remain free, but let's face it, sooner or later everything will run out. This is where the irony kicks in: free things are elusive, otherwise we won't care about getting them.

And when we forget these limits, things usually go berserk. At these times, I almost doubt my already dwindling faith in humanity.

Last month, our whole department was asked to help out on the company's annual 3-day consumer expo in a conference hall at a popular multi-hall activity center-beside-a-mall in Metro Manila. The other artists were assigned to man the entrance booth, while I get to give out - take note - freebies for a one-time-entry customer service raffle. Obviously, being a one-time-entry raffle means that you get to drop only one entry in the box, so you can win the prize (not so shabby either - who can resist that yummy LCD screen?).

So the process goes like this: registration lists the attendees and give them their customer survey form, and customers dutifully fill out the requirements. When they are done, they go to the redemption booth to drop their entries in the box, and we give them freebies (limited items like bags, pouches, towels, notepads, and pens, which are not at all shabby), as a token of thanks. Then we collect the entries, and pick out a winner. Winner gets big, expensive prizes.

Seems easy, no? We even have stamps and stuff to validate the customers. Nothing bad will happen, right? People will be happy with what whatever we'd give them, because they're free, no? Maybe not happy, but at least placated that we gave them something after the survey, no?

WRONG.

At the other conference hall, an IT event for students and teachers was also going on. No problem, I thought, we're glad to receive opinions and give something for the students, especially those in college levels. Provided that, they behave properly, and that they understand the meaning of a "one-time-entry raffle." This entails that we will stop anyone from dropping a second entry for himself, and to prevent him from getting another freebie again. It's fair enough to drop one entry and get a freebie from himself, right?

The next scene was pure catastrophe. Some wise guy must've realized that, "hey guys, let's line up for these things and get 3 bags for ourselves!!! Unlimited freebies!!!" Suddenly, everybody is lining up, and we saw some very familiar faces hiding their stamps and freebies! Nobody cared about the big raffle prizes anymore! The line went across the hall to the various exhibits, and our stock is running out! And it's just FREAKING DAY ONE!

Day two happened just the same, but with a higher stress level. On Day One, I thought, "oh well, these are not students from better colleges, so I shouldn't be expecting much from them." But what appalled me were the things that happened next.

We turned down students who have been lining up twice. Students were disappointed, and went to adviser. Adviser had the gall to call our supervisor, because she was a delegate of the IT event and is Important Daw! Supervisor was unfazed, and explained the freebie-giving process. Adviser went away, fuming. About an hour later, Adviser went in again to line up for the survey, and we gave her freebies. And, 3 hours later, adviser lined up again for freebies!!! We wanted to protest, but the one at the front absentmindedly gave her another freebie.

I also confronted a student whom I recognized in the line hours ago. I asked him, "From what school are you from? You're from the IT conference?"

"Yup, La Salle," he said.

"Hm. So you do know that this is a one-time-entry raffle, right?"

"Um..."

"And this is your second time to line up today, no?"

"Um... but my professor there had three free bags already..."

I was appalled. So appalled. I explained that I couldn't give him any more freebies.

"But come on," he had the gall to say, "can I have another bag?"

At that moment, my jaw fell on the floor. I glared at him and said, "NO. Is that what your teachers teach you in La Salle?" Then, he weaseled out to join his disappointed friends and professors. Meanwhile, our stocks of freebies were dwindling that we gave out pens and notepads during the rest of the day.

Oh God. If we haven't realized it, we almost got duped by a group of teachers from various state and private colleges from the IT conference, removing jackets, glasses, and their entrance stamps to get in and receive their 3rd freaking bag, freaking towel, or freaking DVD, that they neither want or need in the first place. I felt so morally offended and disheartened because these people are TEACHERS, goddammit!!! Teachers!

Back then, I thought, that even if I had a choice, I would still pay taxes. The government would put them in their pockets in reality, sure, but I'd want to think that I'm doing it to support and educate young Filipinos. If I learned something important in UP, it is that my education is indebted to the people, that I spent the happiest 6 years of my life because of them, and that I did not disappoint. I wanted other students to experience the joy and occasional pain of learning in college.

But when I encountered teachers like these in the expo, I wanted to slap myself. They are the reasons why the students are abusive, freeloading jerks - look at what they were doing. I refused to believe that these were the people I am helping, supporting, really rooting for, but it's there in black and white – they were not worthy. If this is the educational system that I'm supporting, then I want a refund. God, a big, hefty refund.

Day Three, I was ready to eat people. I had the glare, but I needed to stop myself (I was with the Customer Care people, and being very nice people, they shared my stress level but not my violent stance). And sure enough, the jerks just rolled in. Ask that same group of IT teachers, they came back and acted innocently when we finally gave them the boot!

One seemingly well-off and well-fed woman saw the VIP freebies, and tried to appeal to my, er, sensitive side by parading an autistic child in front of me so she can get a VIP bag. And trust me, with her performance level, it would've worked -  if I had a sensitive side. "Wala po siyang bag sa pasukan, kawawa naman" she begs. I wanted to blurt out, "It's not the kid's problem or mine if you are so cheap to whip out money from your ass and buy a bag." Using a disabled kid to get a freebie? How low can you freaking go?!!

So lots of duping had happened, that it was almost unfair that I kept my almost-glowering face at seemingly grateful people who say, "hey, thanks for the notepad!" and meant it - even if they just got notepads, because at Day Three we almost had nothing. Yes, we restrained ourselves enough from the frustration of grabbing freebies, and we still didn't have enough to give away.

Then, just when you thought the thing is about to end, it happened. The day was about to end when one guy - who wore an "Instructor" badge from the IT conference - went in line to drop his entry. Naturally, being the last day, all we got were notepads to give away. People were still lining up, but they weren't complaining about the notepads at all.

So I gave Instructor his notepad.

"Hey, don't I get a bag?"

"Sorry sir, bags are very limited today, the rest are for VIPs. These pads are great----"

I didn't get to finish my sentence because HE THREW THE FREAKING NOTEPAD AT MY CHEST. HE, AN INSTRUCTOR, THREW A FREE ITEM THAT I, A GIRL, AM GIVING TO HIM.

He had the gall to glare at me, like I morally offended him, as he stormed off. The line usher and the others at the booth saw what the guy did to me, but they were too shocked to call security immediately.

The expo ends with me and my diminished faith in society, walking around Fully Booked with fictional characters abound, and pondering of how wrong my elementary and high school teachers were when they told me to be "more sociable and mindful of others, because they are not weird like you." Sure, I may be resentful, bitter, insensitive, and even a freeloader on some occasions. But I know when and how to respect people and keep my inner monster in reserve. I know my limits and I know how to apologize. And being respectful and reserved, I expect the same treatment from other people. I don't understand why these people are very unlike what I'm expected to help. I am being generous - well, our company is - so why the shameless abuse?

We all love freebies, and we know it, we know that they're limited, and we should get the point. But then, we don't, so I don't get the point of giving away freebies anymore.

Had been a long couple of months. I finally know how Allen Iverson looks like, because I have to repair J's Pez dispenser of him in the office.

1. Who hasn't been watching the US elections? Can you say, Best Reality Show Ever?

I'm happy that Barack Obama won. There's something to be said about a man who can say "Change" with a straight face, and without sounding phony, cheesy, or full of BS. This is a black man defying stereotype and the fear of racism. And you feel that you can believe in him. Here's finally, the nerd president.

Sure, I can't vote for him, and even at that I still don't want to be an American. Sure, we're an independent country, and we want to feel like we shouldn't give a hoot because we have bigger problems back here at home. Call it colonial mentality, and as the college newspaper would like to have it, American imperialism still is screwing us up, suuuuuure. But then, what happened to the world when Bush was president?


2. The unavoidable RH Bill topic. I am standing by it, and I have my reasons, like some of my friends who are against it, whose views I disagree with but respect otherwise. What I couldn't understand is all the name-calling and the "rot in hell you elitist, baby-killing heathens" attitude of the so-called pro-life people (case in point, that editorial from the Varsitarian -  this is why I don't read college newspapers anymore, even back in UP). Sure, murder suspects could deserve that, and you consider artificial birth control users as such, but in this case, why the lynching when there are the courts? Where's the Christianity in that? Where's the debate, or diplomacy in that? That's why you sound so unreasonable and annoying. Argh.

3. Have you read Twilight? Because I did, like every female of the species and her sister, but I have to put the book down (I didn't throw it away, it's J's sister's copy). I am deeply, deeply underwhelmed and very, very bored.

On one hand, it's the kind of thing that we in the high school newspaper staff would write about in the literary section, being fans of Anne Rice and the fantasy genre. But on the other hand, these thing has its charm only up until high school - when you have a degree, there are probably more interesting things to write about, and better ways to write it. I think, as high school staffers, we could've done a better job than autor Stephanie Meyer. If you're a geek and have read too many Harry Potter fanfics, a glance at the first couple of chapters of this book would make you run around, screaming, "Lordy, not another Mary Sue/Angsty Sue Anne Rice fan fiction!!!"

I wanted to give it another try with the movie, and I was willing to watch it... on pirated DVD months from now. I gave away all my movie premiere tickets because I don't want to be in the same room as the Edward Cullen Cheerleading Squad, and because officemate Sheila needs more tickets for her friends. But then friends dissuade me from watching the thing, because according to them, it sucked. (Catherine Hardwicke's movies are OK, but not my thing. Her Thirteen was effective, but I didn't like it.)

Hah. Twilight is a curse that infests those who laugh at us when we read Anne Rice in high school, so we can laugh at them today, when we've already moved on to read better books.

(Digress: It's the kind of thing that makes me want to read Gossip Girl more. And as Nuni said, it's more interesting to be the Gossip Girl. Hey, we could've done a similar website in high school, because most of the staffers know the popular and rich kids, and some of them already had internet access and HTML knowledge those days. But then most of us are very nice nerds, and fortunately for the student population, can resist the urge.)

4. Heroes, oh Heroes. Why have you fallen for the soap-opera trap? You are still fun, interesting, and happily confusing, but why is everyone a Petrelli now? Why play the adoption card? At least I get why you played the "he's in a coma" card - and it's a real kick in the chest - but why go so low as "I gave you up for adoption because you're going to ruin the future anyway"? WTF?

5. I'm loving my phone! I can read e-books off of it, thanks to the txt-reading web browser! But I need another reader that can insert bookmarks.

I'm also watching Terry Gilliam animation shorts on it. Happy! :D

6. PAPERGASM!!! During office downtime, we're pretty hooked on doing paper toys to accessorize our workstations. At least there's someone smiling back at you when another all-nighter happens.

7. Why does pretty, AS-girls-esque receptionists hate me? I'm not even pretty, and not going to steal that officemate whom they have a crush on. Hello. Are you really bored in that desk? Tired of Friendster? Tired of waxing your hair? Then don't let off your steam on me. Biatches.

8. I'll probably blog and fix my layout after a long vacation. During these months, we are having very hectic days and nights enticing people - visually and physically - to buy gorgeous, humongous TVs and sleek laptops with Bluetooth-connected mouse. Yes, it's my job, and commercialism drains all of us during the holidays.

9. Plurk is the thing I do when word farts attack, and to further emphasize my brother's kabaduyan. You can contact me there, clients.

It's 4am, and I'm online, and I sure do miss it.

Much to your derision or delight, I'm still alive. I've been busy with employment, which I am enjoying, aside from the downtime and the barrage of infidelity stories of some married folks that I don't want to reiterate. Global City makes me feel giddy and peaceful whenever I am there, even if I'm terribly late for work because of the human sob story that is the MRT. Sometimes, I just wish that I could take the Fort Bus all the way home, as opposed to taking the train, and cursing half the population of Metro Manila.

The thing is, either I'm pretty busy at work to blog, or that I seem unable to collect my thoughts in the office. There are, after all, people walking back and forth around my workstation, and I can't really type snide comments while people can read them behind my back. Oh, and there's the fact that as a graphic artist, I use a 21-inch monitor at my workstation, enabling people from the other side of the room to gawk whenever I update my Facebook. (Yes, I'm adicted to Facebook game apps. How typically yuppie, but it's fun.)

I've been very busy with company events and collaterals. I've been going home very late for the past months, which was very tiring but still relatively fulfilling and kinda fun when with the Creatives gang, even if it means bearing with the taxi fair. Scenes from event set-ups and hotel rooms and catalog pages eat up most of my time. Tedious, but these come with perks: got to see the Eraserheads concert (next time, I shouldn't be uninformed), receive free tickets to events (like those Twilight premiere tickets, which I gave away because I'm not interested in Twilight at all) and hobnob with fashionable people at hotels. So this is corporate life, where most people at my age group drive their own cars - oh wait, they're people from sales and marketing and used to a posh lifestyle anyway. I digress, but you get the point.

I'm still very busy designing for The Mind Museum, the reason why I'm up and researching online at 4am in the morning (whut?). I've never imagine that I could juggle the schedules, but my two jobs seem to be crawling along nicely. The only downside is, I can't really finish personal projects, and keep up with my online clients as much as I would like. (Sorry girls! This week na talaga.) I sorely miss painting again. The only things I do to relax is to go off jogging and dining out with J on the weekends, or go to places where my friends are (even if it's pretty boring, like the FA reunion). Because as much as I love my computer and all the files in it, I'm just so exhausted to look at another computer screen. (I mainly use it to watch new episodes of 30 Rock, Chuck, and that soap-opera with superpowers, Heroes. I don't know why I'm addicted to Chuck, when the plot's always pretty predictable. And Heroes. Why is everyone a Petrelli now?)

But even at that, things still inspire me to sorely want some art done. Recently, my uncle won the Book Awards for the very first time, trumping writers he himself read and admire, after many years of teaching social sciences at UP. Although I know I still suck at it, I have a renewed encouragement to write/draw something meaningful, and possibly worthy of some appreciation.

Sorry for the disconnected prose, but at least I have something to write about again.

Friends, and art, I miss you.

Presenting...

Ateneo vs. La Salle, circa 1970s. I love you Monty Python, you bring sense to my thoughts.

Blue vs. Green. Anyone sick of the drama? Please raise your hand, and let's do something about ignoring the UAAP season altogether.

Sure, I'm not qualified to comment, beacuse I'm from UP, and I shouldn't care. But I can't turn the corner without hearing things about it, and it doesn't help than family, friends, and officemates are onto the fight. Guys, I love you, and I don't care if you go into the said schools, but please let's not cross the thin line between "just getting along" and "please stop the Blue/Green reeling commentaries." You know I hate varsity sports, and I'm not even into cheering my own team.

This is why I take comfort in Umberto Eco's scathing World Cup essays (please look up Travels in Hyperreality). We share the same view about sports: it's a natural, beautiful thing, but the fans just ruins it for us. This is Ateneo/La Salle - it's not about sports, it's a big freaking marketing event held in a basketball court.

I was thinking about how to make things exciting for the rivalry (aneurysms and bloody death in the arena - so Roman Empire circus, but much more exciting) on the train yesterday, that the mad morning mob trampled on me and made me fall onto my ass. My leg and knee got injured - it got stuck in the gap between the train and the platform - and I'm still howling in pain. Obviously, I am the world's biggest klutz, but I'm sensing that St. Ignatius and St. Jean-Baptiste are punishing me for my lack of UAAP enthusiasm.

Ever since I've been on vacation - and seeing how people around here craves and flaunts better looks, better lifestyles, better booze, and better parties - I'm afraid that I am enticed to lose my nerd-dom in place of things I deem superficial.

Part of me wants to ditch buying the complete Fables (and the James Jean cover compilation!!!), works of Eco, Tarantino, and Pixar, to buy makeup, accessories, and heels. Suddenly, I have the urge to buy a latte in Starbucks because every cool person does it (but personally, I prefer The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, because the chai latte tastes like Christmas, and Nuni's sweet, sweet latte), even though I'm broke.

People around me are ditching commuting with jeeps and evolving to calling cab companies, or resort into wishing for cars. OK, cars are comfty - and not to mention healthier than smog - but I miss the element of adventure (I definitely have to ride every jeep route twice before I give them up).

Not that I'm saying that there's something bad about being superficial - most of these things make sense to most people, and most careers hang on to these things. Improving your lifestyle in this aspect shows growth, and who am I to stunt growth. Everybody wants to look beautiful and feel successful. I am not into living in a basement like the Unabomber; I have high hopes for a skyrocketing career and promoting good design. But I am hesitant to give into these seemingly superficial stuff, because these are things that I tried to defy. Yuppies are my mortal enemies, but I don't know what to do when people I know and love, and people that I have to interact with, act like this. I am afraid to feel like a sellout, and I am afraid of accusing people of being sellouts.

I know. If I want to be a designer, I have to look like the part. I have to look at fancy magazines, visit high-end stores, appreciate minute details, know and name names, and meet other designers in hip places. I'm not talking about fashion - I'm talking about Starck, Muji, Cobonpue, Alessi, Jacobsen, and these things should be experienced, not just seen. Talk about design encompassing barriers, but it's pretty disappointing to realize that only the elite can afford, and thus, appreciate these fine things, and I have to go to their places to see these things. I have to look like someone who can comprehend. I mean, nobody would suspect that I know the histories of Louis Vuitton, Vera Wang, and Marc Jacobs (I really do, and they are fascinating people, so take that Mango-wearing poseurs), because I look like a drab, boho college student with flyaway hair.

And let's face it, who wants to look blah in front of the guy you love, even though all you're going to do is to read books together, talk, and eat takeout in his house? You'd want to look stellar, even though he claims to be in love with your brain.

(Sounds like that movie with Anne Hathaway? I guess not, because she didn't speak Python and read comic books. Plus, this is not Vogue, and I'm fugly. Try 30 Rock, about a woman who has the resources and connections to be bigger than Carrie Bradshaw, but just refuses to be that.)

There's a part of me that still watches Mythbusters and Flying Circus reruns, reads weird stories, and watches anime. There's a part of me who loves speaking Bart Simpson lines to my boyfriend, and to go on carless adventures with him. There's a part of me who wants to spend time freely, to read and draw stuff, to think of theories and urban legends, and shut myself from most of the world because I'm busy being creative. And I want to reflect that, too. Somehow I am afraid to lose these when I get my head concerned on things that would make me look and feel as fashionista cosmpolitan as the rest of the world.

So, what I'm trying to say is, can nerds prefect makeups while pondering about Jedi afterlife? Can there be a balance between both worlds? Can anybody teach me how to choose makeup and 3DSMax? Because I have no idea how to look corporate in a corporate job.

p.s. Anyway, this is still unchangeable: I don't have the urge to par-tay and go clubbing. There's the occasional night out with close friends and some non-beer alcohol (I don't care about the amats, beer tastes nasty), but I'd rather stay at home and read than hobnob with poseurs.

So I missed some things. I haven't been getting around and reading my favorite blogs and columns, and missed updates from my friends and neighborhood artists, and further verified that the world does not revolve around me.

1. Just when I was thinking of downloading vintage Diablo II, my brother reported that Diablo III is coming out soon.
Lookatit, eeet's preeeteee... and would probably put such a load on my PC. My initial reaction was, "wala namang ganyanan!"

2. I have been catching up on my reading, and found myself only 2 issues behind with Fables. Yes! But the people posting on Shelfari have been mixing editions of books to actual books, so books under a series goes under the name of one book. So I can't update my books properly. Stupid, really.

3. For the Nth time, I need some help with installing Maya and/or 3D StudioMax. I'm currently satisfied with discovering the ambient occluence function in Blender 2.45, but it's not the industry standard, so I think I need to learn other 3D softwares.

4. Yes, I'm rendering my Packaging, Display Design and Ergonomics plates in Blender for my portfolio. Everything was going great, until I spotted this in Notcot:

Which I would find really nice if it weren't a bit similar to my design for Nike in class, in 2006:


Flattered or cheated, I don't know how to feel about it. I've seen it happen to some of my classmates ("but I thought about that first!"), but never to me.

4. What the heck happened with TV? I caught up with Pushing Daisies while not petitioning for its second season. Chuck (which is entertaining, but still cliche and trying too much to be nerd-friendly) and 30 Rock were fun, but the seasons just ended. And pray tell me, why the HELL did CSI kill off Warrick Brown?

One of the things that kept us loyal to CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, is the fact that they haven't killed off any of their CSIs (Miami killed at least 2 guys, and NY had unfortunately killed off Aiden Burn). Sure, we can leave Sara Sidle on vacation - at least we're guaranteed that she can come back any time. But to kill Warrick? Come on, CBS, don't be that cheap and pay Gary Dourdan accordingly.

Edit: Gary Dourdan was arrested last April, with a carload of drugs. But I don't care.

5. I still haven't been getting around That First Photoshoot Atonement (Available Light Edition). My gorgeous friends are all busy at work, plus the weather's not cooperating. I want to shoot with 2 cameras: there's my trusty Mons the Olympus (which needs lens cleaning, hello Hidalgo), and I'd ask cousins if they can lend me a DSLR (uh, hi! *sheepish grin*). I found out that I am really comfortable with digital, but the hurdle of not shooting with film is still existing. Oh, and Boombee would like to expand her stylist portfolio, and we are thinking of a collab, so yay!

Or, I could hitch with friends who'd have a photoshoot. :P

6. Not a good month for photos. But I'm itching to update my albums and DA.

7. There's a Discworld TV movie and I didn't know?

Exactly a year after I started working, I decided to resign. I quit because I found myself stagnating, when I had this idea that I should be reaching some goalpost by then - I should be leading a campaign, learning better marketing techniques, jet-setting, or at least designing for a collection. I imagined myself revolutionizing design in the country. I thought I would be better handled by an organization, be as disciplined as I wanted to be - it turned out that my cramming days in college had escalated into organizational levels. I found out that design-wise, I still am stuck in the same level as I was in school, and I am not proud of it. I have not contributed anything to the Philippine design scene. I was still broke, unkempt, and frustrated. I have learned some important things, but given the span of time I believe I could have learned more.

There is a great hesitation on my part to go freelance, even for the mean time. Presumably, it feels like a vacation, where you're not stuck in your some office and working on your own time. Yet, sometimes there's such a thing as having too much of your own time - there's the great temptation to just ditch your job and watch the complete Monty Python's Flying Circus in one sitting (or something to that effect) instead. The great thing, for me, about having your own time is being able to conceptualize and execute projects well. I am able to focus on one thing, compared to being pressured into doing lots of things at the time until the day ends. But then the essential things that make you professional - punctuality, competition, multitasking, and the ability to interact with bosses - are limited. This poses a problem for me, since I want to do more than design. Plus the pay, which couldn't really suck, is inconsistent.

This is where corporate work and leaving the country entice me. I am currently loving some scenes in 30 Rock, where comedy writer Liz was offered a promotion for a CEO position from the boss - at the sight of the huge starting salary, she slapped the boss in the face and excitedly yelled at her writing staff, "suck it monkeys, I'M GOING CORPORATE!" Which pretty much sums it up for me. I would love to be creative, and at the same time contribute to this society, but I don't want to be poor while doing so. I'd like to be realistic - I want to be a designer, and as much as we claim to be artistic and cultural, 1) there are no jobs for designers in this country, 2) as much as it is enticing to make your ideas a reality (read: a real job), there is less support from the community (read: red tape and bribes and China), and 3) it's so tiring to be identified with hacks and mooks using Photoshop filters, posing as graphic designers. I do not want to overestimate myself, but I do believe I'm skilled and geared to be meant for greater things: if UP had taught me anything, it's that I can do whatever I can.

So, before I join the workforce and rust again (I hope not), I am trying to do the things I really want to do, and really atone for things I failed to do, while doing jobs that would not only get me by, but would not let me go rusty. I got to jog around the Acad Oval four times a week last month (Almost 5 km per day, suck it monkeys!!! But my genes acted up against me and got my leg busted this week), a sure feat for my physical pffth-ness. I got to do market research with my old Ateneo friend, which brought back my love for research and interviewing people. Because of that I got to start painting again (if I ever get to post anything, it's gonna be my new, painted Chucks), and actually start to dress like a person from 2008 (yes, I was office-tacky for a year). I've been redoing my portfolio. My friends and I are starting our own Origami jewelry line (say hello to WashiWear!). Some friends are asking for help, and I gladly respond (I am a designer for Project Prettify, and say hello to my layout for Claylettes). And things lead into things into things, and although I am still afraid that I would get broke and haul myself back home again, I want to be hopeful. Or else.

There, I chose to let myself rest for a while. It might make me go back to work. Or it might give me work after all.

Notes on this survey:
a. I don't buy books often. I spend all my money on food. I have many friends who buy books and are willing to lend them to me. People trust me with their books because I return them in mint condition. And come on, what's the use of the library?
b. Most books I borrowed in college were actually my roommates' library books. Sometimes, they are required to read, say, William Blake, and I read it when they are not reading it. As a consequence, I don't finish most of them. :P
c. OK, but I do download e-books. Also, I read books in bookstores to pass time, while waiting for people.
d. In the last part of the survey, I am asked to contribute 3 books. To be fair, I considered only Western novels, fiction (I'm restraining myself from putting Jessica Zafra and Arnold Arre on the list).
e. Any more books to lend me? Comment here! :)
f. Posting this makes me feel like a poseur. But whatever.

INSTRUCTIONS:
Boldface the books you have read
Italicize the books you have not yet finished
Underline the books you own
Put an Asterisk* beside the book you want to read
Contribute 3 more books on the list

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen - never read this because I believed that I couldn't relate
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams*
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. 1984, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller*
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte* - because the Monty Python Semaphore version cracks me up every time
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier* - I love her stories, especially "Don't Look Now"
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott - never read books written for girls
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy*
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien - me in college, YES
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy* - Thomas Hardy, I heard, is teh sex
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot*
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez - And then you read that 70% of it is based on GGM's life. Yes, the weird 70% of it.
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett - my "OMG I am so bored so let's go read an epic" book, too much soap opera drama but interesting because they built Gothic cathedrals in the book
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens - my most favorite of Dickens' because I thought I would be Ms. Trotwood.
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl - yay!
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen - never finished this because I didn't find anything relevant to me
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery - same with her
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald* - Jazz age? Count me in.
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas - code I live by, I still love the Abbe Faria, and I lost the book
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh*
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett - and the movie (by Cuaron, who directed HP3 and Y Tu Mama Tambien) was wonderful
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy* - I need to read an epic, right now!
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky* - and these Russian authors too
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden - too... graceful for my taste
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens - "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!?! You stupid monkey!!!"
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett* - I want to read about Discworld
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman - not in the mood for Gaiman now
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding - never finished it because it scared the hell out of me
71. Perfume, Patrick Susskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl - also has a good movie adaptation... by Danny DeVito?!?! No freaking way...
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy - very, very bitter
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley*
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E. Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac* - because, once and for all, I want to know what the fuss is all about
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo - YES I LOVE THIS
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett*
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho - a disappointment, ewwwww
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez - read in the bookstore but never bought it
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
101. Three Men In A Boat, Jerome K. Jerome
102. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett
103. The Beach, Alex Garland
104. Dracula, Bram Stoker - thanks, Ari
105. Point Blanc, Anthony Horowitz
106. The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens
107. Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz
108. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks
109. The Day Of The Jackal, Frederick Forsyth
110. The Illustrated Mum, Jacqueline Wilson
111. Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy*
112. The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 1/2, Sue Townsend
113. The Cruel Sea, Nicholas Monsarrat
114. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
115. The Mayor Of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy
116. The Dare Game, Jacqueline Wilson
117. Bad Girls, Jacqueline Wilson
118. The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde - binalik kaagad ni Gert
119. Shogun, James Clavell
120. The Day Of The Triffids, John Wyndham
121. Lola Rose, Jacqueline Wilson
122. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray - THE manual for every social climber
123. The Forsyte Saga, John Galsworthy
124. House Of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
125. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
126. Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett
127. Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison
128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle - eto din, binalik kaagad
129. Possession, A. S. Byatt
130. The Master And Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
131. The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood
132. Danny The Champion Of The World, Roald Dahl
133. East Of Eden, John Steinbeck
134. George's Marvellous Medicine, Roald Dahl
135. Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett
136. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
137. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
138. The Thirty-Nine Steps, John Buchan
139. Girls In Tears, Jacqueline Wilson
140. Sleepovers, Jacqueline Wilson
141. All Quiet On The Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque
142. Behind The Scenes At The Museum, Kate Atkinson
143. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
144. It, Stephen King - guilty pleasure hahaha
145. James And The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl
146. The Green Mile, Stephen King
147. Papillon, Henri Charriere
148. Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett
149. Master And Commander, Patrick O'Brian
150. Skeleton Key, Anthony Horowitz
151. Soul Music, Terry Pratchett
152. Thief Of Time, Terry Pratchett
153. The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett
154. Atonement, Ian McEwan - I'm still stuck in the Tallis mansion
155. Secrets, Jacqueline Wilson
156. The Silver Sword, Ian Serraillier
157. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Ken Kesey
158. Heart Of Darkness, Joseph Conrad - didn't get this until I saw "Apocalypse Now"
159. Kim, Rudyard Kipling
160. Cross Stitch, Diana Gabaldon
161. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
162. River God, Wilbur Smith
163. Sunset Song, Lewis Grassic Gibbon
164. The Shipping News, Annie Proulx
165. The World According To Garp, John Irving
166. Lorna Doone, R. D. Blackmore
167. Girls Out Late, Jacqueline Wilson
168. The Far Pavilions, M. M. Kaye
169. The Witches, Roald Dahl
170. Charlotte's Web, E. B. White
171. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley
172. They Used To Play On Grass, Terry Venables and Gordon Williams
173. The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
174. The Name Of The Rose, Umberto Eco - libraries, manuscripts, the Middle Ages, detective work, and serial killers: what's not to love?
175. Sophie's World, Jostein Gaarder - or, Philo 1
176. Dustbin Baby, Jacqueline Wilson
177. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Roald Dahl
178. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov - has the most arrogant and self-centered book character (Humbert Humbert) from all the books I've read
179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach
180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery - made me cry in high school
181. The Suitcase Kid, Jacqueline Wilson
182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens - because Dickens' kids kick serious ass
183. The Power Of One, Bryce Courtenay
184. Silas Marner, George Eliot
185. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis*
186. The Diary Of A Nobody, George and Weedon Gross-Smith
187. Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh - thanks, Fonz
188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine - WHAT?
189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri
190. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence
191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera - wala akong mahiraman
192. Man And Boy, Tony Parsons
193. The Truth, Terry Pratchett
194. The War Of The Worlds, H. G. Wells
195. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans
196. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry
197. Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett
198. The Once And Future King, T. H. White - Bastion of my being. I AM LAUNCELOT.
199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle
200. Flowers In The Attic, Virginia Andrews
201. The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien - read as an encyclopedia
202. The Eye of the World, Robert Jordan - YEHES! J&D's series <3
203. The Great Hunt, Robert Jordan
204. The Dragon Reborn, Robert Jordan
205. Fires of Heaven, Robert Jordan
206. Lord of Chaos, Robert Jordan
207. Winter's Heart, Robert Jordan
208. A Crown of Swords, Robert Jordan
209. Crossroads of Twilight, Robert Jordan
210. A Path of Daggers, Robert Jordan
211. As Nature Made Him, John Colapinto
212. Microserfs, Douglas Coupland
213. The Married Man, Edmund White
214. Winter's Tale, Mark Helprin
215. The History of Sexuality, Michel Foucault
216. Cry to Heaven, Anne Rice
217. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe, John Boswell
218. Equus, Peter Shaffer
219. The Man Who Ate Everything, Jeffrey Steingarten
220. Letters To A Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke
221. Ella Minnow Pea, Mark Dunn
222. The Vampire Lestat, Anne Rice - high school life
223. Anthem, Ayn Rand
224. The Bridge To Terabithia, Katherine Paterson
225. Tartuffe, Moliere
226. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka - eto din binalik kaagad
227. The Crucible, Arthur Miller
228. The Trial, Franz Kafka
229. Oedipus Rex, Sophocles
230. Oedipus at Colonus, Sophocles
231. Death Be Not Proud, John Gunther
232. A Doll's House, Henrik Ibsen
233. Hedda Gabler, Henrik Ibsen
234. Ethan Frome, Edith Wharton
235. A Raisin In The Sun, Lorraine Hansberry
236. ALIVE!, Piers Paul Read
237. Grapefruit, Yoko Ono
238. Trickster Makes This World, Lewis Hyde
240. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
241. Chronicles of Thomas Convenant, Unbeliever, Stephen Donaldson
242. Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
242. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon
243. Summerland, Michael Chabon
244. A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
245. Candide, Voltaire
246. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More, Roald Dahl
247. Ringworld, Larry Niven
248. The King Must Die, Mary Renault
249. Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein
250. A Wrinkle in Time, Madeline L'Engle
251. The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde
252. The House Of The Seven Gables, Nathaniel Hawthorne
253. The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
254. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
255. The Great Gilly Hopkins, Katherine Paterson
256. Chocolate Fever, Robert Kimmel Smith
257. Xanth: The Quest for Magic, Piers Anthony
258. The Lost Princess of Oz, L. Frank Baum
259. Wonder Boys, Michael Chabon
260. Lost In A Good Book, Jasper Fforde
261. Well Of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde
262. Life Of Pi, Yann Martel
263. The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver
264. A Yellow Raft In Blue Water, Michael Dorris
265. Little House on the Prairie, Laura Ingalls Wilder
267. Where The Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls
268. Griffin & Sabine, Nick Bantock - art nerd alert, I love this so much that I wanted to do a collage
269. Witch of Black Bird Pond, Joyce Friedland
270. Mrs. Frisby And The Rats Of NIMH, Robert C. O'Brien
271. Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbitt
272. The Cay, Theodore Taylor
273. From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, E.L. Konigsburg
274. The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Jester
275. The Westing Game, Ellen Raskin
276. The Kitchen God's Wife, Amy Tan
277. The Bone Setter's Daughter, Amy Tan
278. Relic, Duglas Preston & Lincolon Child
279. Wicked, Gregory Maguire - depressing, drones in the middle part, the Broadway show was more entertaining
280. American Gods, Neil Gaiman
281. Misty of Chincoteague, Marguerite Henry
282. The Girl Next Door, Jack Ketchum
283. Haunted, Judith St. George
284. Singularity, William Sleator
285. A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson
286. Different Seasons, Stephen King
287. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk
288. About a Boy, Nick Hornby
289. The Bookman's Wake, John Dunning
290. The Church of Dead Girls, Stephen Dobyns
291. Illusions, Richard Bach
292. Magic's Pawn, Mercedes Lackey
293. Magic's Promise, Mercedes Lackey
294. Magic's Price, Mercedes Lackey
295. The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Gary Zukav
296. Spirits of Flux and Anchor, Jack L. Chalker
297. Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
298. The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Brenda Love
299. Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace
300. The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison.
301. The Cider House Rules, John Irving
302. Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
303. Girlfriend in a Coma, Douglas Coupland
304. The Lion's Game, Nelson Demille
305. The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars, Stephen Brust
306. Cyteen, C. J. Cherryh
307. Foucault's Pendulum, Umberto Eco - reason why I'm still sane. I love this so much, my copy's severely worn out.
308. Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson
309. Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
310. Camber of Culdi, Kathryn Kurtz
311. The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
312. War and Rememberance, Herman Wouk
313. The Art of War, Sun Tzu
314. The Giver, Lois Lowry
315. The Telling, Ursula Le Guin
316. Xenogenesis (or Lilith's Brood), Octavia Butler
317. A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold
318. The Curse of Chalion, Lois McMaster Bujold
319. The Aeneid, Publius Vergilius Maro
320. Hanta Yo, Ruth Beebe Hill
321. The Princess Bride, S. Morganstern (or William Goldman) - "My name is Inigo Montoya..."
322. Beowulf, Anonymous
323. The Sparrow, Maria Doria Russell
324. Deerskin, Robin McKinley
325. Dragonsong, Anne McCaffrey - I lost the book! Aaaaaaarrrgh!
326. Passage, Connie Willis
327. Otherland, Tad Williams
328. Tigana, Guy Gavriel Kay
329. Number the Stars, Lois Lowry
330. Beloved, Toni Morrison
331. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore
332. The mysterious disappearance of Leon, I mean Noel, Ellen Raskin
333. Summer Sisters, Judy Blume
334. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Victor Hugo
335. The Island on Bird Street, Uri Orlev
336. Midnight in the Dollhouse, Marjorie Filley Stover
337. The Miracle Worker, William Gibson
338. The Genesis Code, John Case
339. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson
340. Paradise Lost, John Milton - I love this, but it's a pain to re-read
341. Phantom, Susan Kay
342. The Mummy or Ramses the Damned, Anne Rice
343. Anno Dracula, Kim Newman
344: The Dresden Files: Grave Peril, Jim Butcher
345: Tokyo Suckerpunch, Issac Adamson
346: The Winter of Magic's Return, Pamela Service
347: The Oddkins, Dean R. Koontz
348. My Name is Asher Lev, Chaim Potok
349. The Last Goodbye, Raymond Chandler
350. At Swim, Two Boys, Jaime O'Neill
351. Othello, by William Shakespeare
352. The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas - I picked it up in Fully Booked and I never saw it again afterwards
353. The Collected Poems of William Butler Yeats
354. Sati, Christopher Pike
355. The Inferno, Dante
356. The Apology, Plato
357. The Small Rain, Madeline L'Engle
358. The Man Who Tasted Shapes, Richard E Cytowick
359. 5 Novels, Daniel Pinkwater
360. The Sevenwaters Trilogy, Juliet Marillier
361. Girl with a Pearl Earring, Tracy Chevalier
362. To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
363. Our Town, Thorton Wilder
364. Green Grass Running Water, Thomas King
335. The Interpreter, Suzanne Glass
336. The Moor's Last Sigh, Salman Rushdie
337. The Mother Tongue, Bill Bryson
338. A Passage to India, E.M. Forster
339. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
340. The Phantom of the Opera, Gaston Leroux
341. Pages for You, Sylvia Brownrigg
342. The Changeover, Margaret Mahy
343. Howl's Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones
344. Angels and Demons, Dan Brown - ppbbbbbbtttthhhh... watch the whole Indiana Jones series instead
345. Johnny Got His Gun, Dalton Trumbo
346. Shosha, Isaac Bashevis Singer
347. Travels With Charley, John Steinbeck
348. The Diving-bell and the Butterfly, Jean-Dominique Bauby*
349. The Lunatic at Large, J. Storer Clouston
350. Time for bed, David Baddiel
351. Barrayar, Lois McMaster Bujold
352. Quite Ugly One Morning, Christopher Brookmyre
353. The Bloody Sun, Marion Zimmer Bradley
354. Sewer, Gas, and Eletric, Matt Ruff
355. Jhereg, Steven Brust
356. So You Want To Be A Wizard, Diane Duane
357. Perdido Street Station, China Mieville
358. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte
359. Road-side Dog, Czeslaw Milosz
360. The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
361. Neuromancer, William Gibson
362. The Epistemology of the Closet, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick
363. A Canticle for Liebowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr
364. The Mask of Apollo, Mary Renault
365. The Gunslinger, Stephen King
366. Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare - who didn't?
367. Absalom, Absalom, William Faulkner
368. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemmingway
369. Dreamhouse, Alison Habens
370. Hyperion, by Dan Simmons
371. Prospero's Children, Jan Siegel
372. Gaudy Night, Dorothy Sayers
373. Guns, Germs, and Steel, Jared Diamond
374. Enchantment, Orson Scott Card
375. Cetaganda, Lois McMaster Bujold
376. Beauty, Sheri S. Tepper
377. The Hour of the Star, Clarice Lispector
378. The Patron Saint of Liars, Ann Patchett
379. Sexing the Cherry, Jeanette Winterson*
380. A wizard of Earthsea, Ursula Le'Guin
381. Assassin's Apprentice, Robin Hobb
382. The Axis Trilogy, Sara Douglass
383. Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie
384. Sabriel, Garth Nix
385. Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman
386. The Silence of the Lambs, Richard Harris
387. The Hot Zone, Richard Preston
388. Talking to High Monks in the Snow, Lydia Minatoya
389. The Women of Brewster Place, Gloria Naylor
390. Their Eyes were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston
391. The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Bird
392. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown - ppbbbbbbtttthhhh...
393. Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut
394. Bridget Jones - The Edge Of Reason, Helen Fielding
395. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, JK Rowling
396. I Never Promised You A Rosegarden, Hannah Green
397. Fool's Fate, Robin Hobb
398. A kiss of shadows, Laurell K. Hamilton
399. Sacajawea, Anne Lee Waldo
400. The Red Room, Nicci French
401. The Stepford Wives, Ira Levin
402. Dragon Wing, Weis & Hickman
403. The Iliad, Homer
404. Hamlet, William Shakespeare
405. The Collected Poems, Sylvia Plath
406. Before Night Falls, Reinaldo Arenas
407. The Awakening, Kate Chopin
408. The Antichrist, Friedrich Nietzsche
409. The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon, Sei Shonagon
410. The Darkangel Trilogy, Meredith Ann Pierce
411. Dangerous Angels (The Weetzie Bat Books), Francesca Lia Block
412. Survivor, Chuck Palahniuk
413. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
414. Dogwalker, Arthur Bradford
415. The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath*
416. A Walk To Remember, Nicholas Sparks - reason why I read this: BETHANY MENDOZA
417. Blood and Chocolate, Annette Curtis Klause
418. The Twenty Years Crisis, E. H. Carr
419. The Persian Boy, Mary Renault
420. Heike Monogatari, Anonymous
421. And the Band Played On, Randy Shilts
422. Tender Is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald*
423. Under the Volcano, Malcolm Lowry
424. The Rules of Attraction, Brett Easton Ellis*
425. Super-Cannes, J.G. Ballard
426. Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
427. The Rapture of Canaan, Sheri Reynolds
428. Mongrel, Justin Chin
429. Sophie's Choice, William Styron
430. The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. LeGuin
431. Walden, Henry David Thoreau
432. The Hero With A Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell
433. Immortality, Milan Kundera
434. Memnoch the Devil, Anne Rice - favorite in the series so far. :P
435. Imajica, Clive Barker
436. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers
437. Night, Elie Wiesel
438. Atticus, Ron Hansen
439. Naked Lunch, William S. Burroughs - did not appreciate because I'm not willing to take drugs just to get this
440. Wasted, Marya Hornbacher
441. The Bedbug and Selected Poetry, Vladimir Mayakovsky
442. The Man Who Was Magic, Paul Gallico
443. Creatures of Light and Darkness, Roger Zelazny
444. The Dark is Rising Sequence, Susan Cooper
445. Seabiscuit, Laura Hilldenbrand
446. Three Junes, Julia Glass
447. The Time Traveler's Wife, Audrey Niffenegger* - why is everyone reading this?
448. My Sister's Keeper, Jodi Picoult
449. The Uglies Trilogy, Scott Westerfeld
450. The Andalite Chronicles, K.A Applegate
451. Song of the Lioness Quartet, Tamora Pierce
452. Gossip Girl Series, Cecily von Ziegesar
453. Queen Kat, Carmel and St Jude, Get a Life, Maureen McCarthy
454. The Private Series, Kate Brian
455. King Lear, William Shakespeare
456. Kamikaze Girls, Novala Takemoto
457. Die Blechtrommel, Günter Grass
458. Spieltrieb, Juli Zeh
459. Carry me down, M.J.Hyland
460. Wizard's First Rule, Terry Goodkind
461. Secrets in the Attic, V.C. Andrews
462. The Belgariad Saga, David Eddings
463. Wraeththu Chronicles, Storm Constantine
464. Stardust, Neil Gaiman - sounds like Grimm
465. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
466. Dragonlance Chronicles, Weiss & Hickman
467. The Tell-Tale Heart and Other Stories, Edgar Allan Poe - it was a small, nifty Penguin edition and I LOST IT! Damn!
468. Rise of Solamnia, Douglas Niles
469. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
470. On Beauty by Zadie Smith
471. Temeraire by Naomi Novik
472. The Last Book in the Universe, Rodman Philbrick
473. The Schwa was Here, Neal Shusterman
474. The Innocent, Harlan Coben
475. The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton
476. The Book Thief, Markus Zusak
477. The Seven Songs of Merlin, T.A. Barron
478. The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron*
479. The Binding Chair, Kathryn Harrison
480. House Of The Spirits, Isabel Allende* - want to know what the fuss is all about, pati yung kay Murakami
481. The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis - me, in high school, and probably one of the strongest books in The Chronicles of Narnia
482. Ghosts of Manila, James Hamilton Paterson - excellent storytelling, gory details, and there's the undeniable fact that it can always (or it did) happen in Manila
483. The Virgin Suicides, Jeffrey Eugenides - Eloquent confessions of indifference, mysticism, and undying love in Suburbia, USA. Why isn't it here?

Tagging everyone. :P Oh, and this is from Feanne.

So I quit my job last week. It was very uneventful, or maybe I'm expecting heavy-duty drama. The interview lasted for at least 5 minutes, and it was a relief. Finally, I don't have to see the horrendous crowd in the MRT, or the equally appalling traffic in the EDSA extension or Roxas Boulevard. I don't have to face half-sane homeless guys with lethal weapons. I think I have 5 years' worth of exhaust fumes in my lungs, and I don't want to live with it.

Not yet celebrating. Wait for the end of the week. Thanks to the people who remembered. :)

Random lolcat moment because I read too much of the Lolcat Bible: I can has ART?!!11! And Prince Caspian?!?!!11! Liek ryt now? Kthxbye.

It's cold. Rainy season, just on cue. (Meaning no pretty summer light for photography. Am I doomed to relive Sir Joey's class every year? Argh.) Normally I'd like this, but everything feels so depressing nowadays.

I want lots of things, and to do lots of things. Can I have time instead?

Some people directed their own movies, exhibited their works, destroyed an empire, invented Facebook, researched on malaria, published their books, and got their acts out when they were 23. What have you been doing recently?

Not being emo. Just sabaw. Srsly.

Today, I met Jessica Zafra in Manila FAME.

I froze, and all I could say was, "uh, ma'am, ireadallofyourbookssince... ever." She was courteous enough to ask if I were an exhibitor, and where our booth was.

I suck.

She came into one of our booths, and I missed her. People didn't realize that she was Twisted, so they didn't get an autograph.

But she waved at me when she saw me in the lobby. Didn't have pen or paper. Argh.

I suck.

I had a crappy day, but I finally met Twisted.

***

Commented on her blog. She seems to acknowledge.

I'm a filthy fan. I suck.

***

Edited today because Boom's MacBook goes wonky with Multiply.

Holy Week wasn't as exciting as it was supposed to be. Or maybe because our little province is thinkng of itself as "too industrialized" for a proper Holy Week procession. Not that I'm a devout Catholic, it's more about nostalgia; I used to help decorate and ride the big "karosas" of saints in Bulacan, and it's so macabre to see how people dress those ivory statues.

But thanks to the internet, we still have some macabre things going on:

1. The Italian Mafia poisons cows which produce mozarrella cheese.

Now this is a sad story. I am a proud lover of cheese. And I'm also a fan of The Godfather. Apparently the Camorra family of Naples has been dumping toxic waste in the area where the cows graze. Production and sales of Italian cheeses go down, and I expect pasta to get expensive.

Sure, there will always be Australia, but this is sad, sad news.

2. Recruitment for the Knights Templar opens.

The Da Vinci Code fans, eat your hearts out. Last heard in the 1300's, after their leader was burned in the stake, they're back and posting ads on The Daily Telegraph. I think they're 8 years too late, or maybe the world will end in 2010. They are petitioning the Pope to open the order again, maybe for protecting pilgrims on space missions. No, I'm kidding - they are demanding apology from the Church, insisting that their order would be reinstated, as the Jesuits were in the 1800's.

Sure, they can demand apology, because they find themselves oppressed for a century (even though they have amassed enormous wealth in the Crusades). But what was the point of reinstating their order? Weren't the Templars originally protectors of pilgrims, "Monk-soldiers" of Christ? Do we need them in the War in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Foucault's Pendulum had trained me not to take these things seriously, especially secret fraternities and organizations - they are so egoistical and believe everything about them, that they are imprisoned into their own mysteries. Foucault tells of the story of three editors, creating an elaborate-yet-crackpot history of the world, based on Templar writings, and peppered with Medieval myth and gnostic ideas. Unfortunately, the Templars believed them, and they were required to be executed. A very good book, and I recommend it to people who'd like to read about an alternative view of European history. That is, if you can stand the first chapter.

And yeah, my dad is a mason. So American Dad.

3. The Ark of the Covenant: Found?

It's In Africa. And because the winged chest was destroyed somehow, It's now in a drum. Who would have known.

4. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on May 22

If you're a fan since you were 8, and if you've read past 2 and 3, you'd say that it is very, very weird.

For the uninitiated, let's recap: Indiana Jones found the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Nazis melted their faces off. Then, he proceeded to discover the Holy Grail (in The Last Crusade), which was guarded by hey! a Templar knight.

There is a long debate about Indy's and Indy's Dad's immortality - in the movie, they have drank from the Grail itself, and they should've been immortal. As I saw it, the knight warned that "the Grail cannot pass through the great seal," (and sure enough, the greedy Nazi flooze destroyed the temple by taking the Grail beyond the said seal on the floor) and I interpreted it literally, that they could've been immortal if they'd just stay there. But then, they literally rode off the sunset in the end credits.

Anyway, if anyone has 4 tickets on opening night, the Cervantes family is willing to buy them. It's a family tradition. And I wouldn't miss Cate Blanchett with a Lulu haircut.

I wanted to rant long ago about somebody, but I couldn't find the time.

Maybe it's the Brian blog that got into me. It's all crap, I know, and things like that doesn't surprise anymore (what? people take drugs?), and if they are really serious about it, they'll make demands straight into court. But it's a fun read nonetheless; schadenfreude really is the weapon of the petit-bourgeoisie, and the grammatical atrocities are hilarious.

It's her again, and I can't fathom why she doesn't acknowledge my existence, and the distance that should be between us. I don't know what transpired between her and J, but I respect J's decision of keeping her as friend. After all, it doesn't mean that if I can actually forget about people who hurt me in the past, doesn't mean that he could.

<joancrawfordmode>

But that doesn't mean that you 1) can snub my suggestion to you because I am his girlfriend and 2) can have the gall to invite him to a "dental procedure practice," or whatever, without considering that he has a relationship with somebody you don't even acknowledge.

Look, I tried to be friendly to you. I don't have the reason to be jealous and suspicious anymore, and I really, really tried to make friends. But you brush me off. I know some people whom he liked in the past, and I have met them personally or online, and we ended up being friends. Or at least I don't regard them as serial-killers; some of them are actually nice.

I tried being helpful to you - remember when you needed people for your interior project? I texted you the info because I was the one who received information from the people we have recommended, and forwarded them to you, and then you didn't have the decency to call them to decline, much less to reply to me. Oh, you want to reply to J, only to him. How decent is that?

I know you love your boyfriend, dear - I know that he's worth more than dozens of times than the guy you left out cold. But why the poem in your Friendster account? "Sino ang pipiliin mo? Ang minamahal mo, o yung nagmamahal sa 'yo?" Not that I take it against you (maybe you really like the poem), but to me, it gives mixed messeges to everyone. Here, you can accuse me of paranoia.

I just want us to be friends. If not that, at least I don't want to think of you as a sly, suspicious character, waiting for something bad to happen.

</joancrawfordmode>

*Why <joancrawfordmode>? Look it up.

"Then came your generation. For you personally, what happened was natural; it probably seemed like a holiday. But not for those my age. For us, it was a settling of scores, a time of remorse, repentance, regeneration. We had failed, and you were arriving with your enthusiasm, courage, self-criticism. Bringing hope to us... and humiliation, but still hope. We had to be like you, even at the price of starting over from the beginning..."

"And then you gave it all up. We, with our penitential pilgrimages to Buchenwald, refused to write advertising copy for Coca-Cola because we were antifascists. We were content to work for peanuts at Garamond, because at least books were for the people. But you, to avenge yourselves on the bourgeoisie you hadn't managed to overthrow, sold them videocassettes and fanzines, brainwashed them with Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance... Shamelessly. While we spent our lives being ashamed. You tricked us, you didn't represent purity; it was only adolescent acne. You made us feel like worms because we lacked the courage to face the Bolivian militia, and you started shooting a few poor bastards in the back while they were walking down the street."

- Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum

Until there's change in this country I will continue to post this.

As I type this, I am having pressing issues to discuss about work. I am discontented, broke (again), out of time, out of luck, and currently listening to Broadway tunes (Wicked, Original Broadway Cast, and it makes me feel a) Elphaba-ish and b) really, really old).

Last few weeks ago, my mp4 player got stolen, and so I have not been listening to the music I like, and read the books I have installed. It was not a complete devastation: it was a secondhand, China-made player which I have to solder to get working. I guess the loss reminded me of what I have after moving out - the most expensive thing I have is my cellphone, and it's old. It reminds me of how much I have to work for to get the things I want.

I don't need a vacation. I just need a quiet spot and a quiet time of day to paint, draw, and read. I have sated my desire to watch movies (Persepolis was brilliant, Hotel Chevalier made me cry in spite of Natalie Portman's nudity, Atonement and Juno didn't live up to my expectations, Grindhouse defines "guilty pleasure"), and I've seen almost all existing episodes of shows I like. I realized that my goal for 2007 was, plainly, to graduate - after I did, my life went haywire.

I need a goal in 2008. I am fascinated by my friends for keeping some sorts of goalposts throughout the year, however menial their lists sound (50 books to read, 50 movies to finally watch, complete a day-to-day visual journal) and I'm nearly inspired to do one. Nearly, because with the situation I am in, I am in dire need of any tangible and untangible resources. I am in need of time and energy, money and equipment and it's only February.

But I make do. Art-wise, I am still experimenting with methods I have not mastered in school. I am on the way into challenging myself to attack a huge canvas with finishing it. There are many things happening around and I think I must have something to say, so I'm starting to write again. There are lots of opportunities bubbling up, even though the situation at work looks grim. I hope I could keep up, though.

Then, the chorus in my ear sings, "no one mourns the wicked." No, don't get discouraged.

Because I'm Narnian, I will post this new hugeass poster.



At last, we see a glimpse of the Pevensies, and huge kudos for including Reepicheep the Mouse. Not a big fan of Reepicheep (he sounds like a sane, small version of Don Quixote) or of any celebrity mouse, but the Chronicles will never be complete without him.

You know this is coming: Ben Barnes is gorgeous, but he's just too damn old to be Caspian. Suddenly, the magic of being a twelve-to-fifteen year old, leading an army and a voyage to the end of the world, diminishes when they casted an older Caspian. But I'm not discouraging the fangirls.

Now back to your regular programming. *dances to April May's "Chick Habit"*

Songs meme, stolen from CJ. I don't have my Eraserheads songs in my player yet.

NO CHEATING!!!

1) Open up your library (iPod, Winamp, iTunes, etc.)
2) Put it on shuffle
3) Press play
4) For each question, type in what song is playing
5) Hit next for each question


1. What do people assume when they first look at me?
Beating Hearts Baby - Head Automatica
"I don't know what to do with you/cause you don't know what to do with me"
Akala ko weird. Contextualize!

2. What will be a big challenge in life for me?
Gin Pomelo - Radioacive Sago Project
A social life! And attending driking sessions at cool places! Yes!

3. Am I a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
Girl form Ipanema - The Bloomfields
Weh, talaga lang? Tall and tan and young and lonely? Baka short and pale and old and happy.

4. Do I have a Secret Admirer?
Yer Blues - Shiina Ringo

"Yes I'm lonely/wanna die"
Hahahahaha!

5. Will I ever become manically depressed in my life?
Across the Universe - The Beatles
The calmness of this song suggests no and yes.

6. Is someone trying to kill me?
Passive Manipulation - The White Stripes
"Women, listen to your mothers,
don't just succumb to the wishes of your brothers.
Take a step back, take a look at one another,
you need to see the difference
between a father and a lover"
Oh my God, it DOES sound like a warning.

7.  What is my sexual preference?
Helena - My Chemical Romance (yes folks, even though I hate My Chemical Romance with all my spleen, I like this song)
So, I liked girls back then? Or I like dead people? Ech. Chemical Romance, you failed me again.

8. What am I afraid of?
Elephant Love Medley - Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman
I'm afraid of... love? Or kitchy songs like this that I've grown to love, that will be discovered by my enemies who would use it to obtain sympathy or embarrass me?
 
9. What will I be doing in a few years?
Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
Still in the bag business? Argh! But the "paper" part means that our company will do well...

10. What is some good advice for me?
Strawberry Fields Forever - Jim Sturgess
"Living is easy with eyes closed/misunderstanding what you see..."
After watching "Across The Universe," this song gave new meaning to apathy.

11. What should I do instead of this quiz?
Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette
Naghugas na ako ng kamay!

12. Will you get married?
Comfort In Your Strangeness - Cynthia Alexander
"I have been to places far and deep in my mind/
only to find comfort in your strangeness"
I DID NOT RIG THIS!!!

13. What is the story of your life?
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
Precisely.

14. How can you get ahead in life?
Word Up - Willis
"Now all you super DJs, you think you're fly
well there's got to be a reason, and you know the reason why
you try to keep on your dance and act real cool
but you got to realize you're looking like fool"
Tama ito!

15. What is the best thing about your friends?
Crooked Teeth - Death Cab for Cutie
I don't get it.

16. What song describes you?
Psycho - Giniling Festival (nung nandun pa si Anto)
"Mahal ko siya ngunit... Psycho Sya!!!"
What the? I did not rig this. Dammit.

17. How does the world see you?
You're Standing On My Neck - Splendora
Parang si Daria? Parang si Daria nga.

18. Will you have a happy life?
Clumsy - Our Lady Peace
Ugh. I hope I don't get involved with serial killers.

19. How can I make myself happy?
My Cherie Amore - Stevie Wonder
True. *hugs J and my family and friends*

20. What should you do with your life?
Just A Girl - No Doubt
Maging women's rights advocate. Ngi.
 
21. Will you ever have children?
Oo - Up dharma Down
What a straightforward answer.

I'm bored but busy. I'll start blogging on February.

UP Meme, because it's The Centennial and people are doing a bad impression of making a big deal out of it.

Weh, have to work. Still not my 2008 entry.

1. Student number?
01-4****, yes I'm old.

2. College?
UP College of Fine Arts

3. Ano ang course mo?
BFA Industral Design

4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
Nag-shift from *drumroll* BS Materials Engineering!!!!

5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
UPLB Biology Building

6. Favorite GE subject?
KOMI at II, every art studies/literature GE

7. Favorite PE?
Tai-chi!!!

8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guys sa UP?
Merong hot guys sa UP?

9. Favorite prof(s)
Prof. Darling Gonzales (thesis, one of the prettiest nerds around), Dean Tina Colayco (TFA 180!), Prof. Galileo Zafra (Salamat po sa KOM), Prof. Mel Silvestre (materials master), Prof. Joy Ilagan (makabagong mga bagay), Prof. Ninel Constantino (marketing)

10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
SocSciI. I hate the Psych building (basta, and wtf the floor is shaking?!), and my prof.

11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
TFA 180, Thesis, at Animation. TFA >> animation.

12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Sa Old Manila, for TFA. Win ang AVCOM peeps vs. Prof. Burgos! Naiwan ng bus si Kuya Ian dahil kay Jessica Zafra! Bwahahahaa!

13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
Yup. :)

14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UP Association of Visual Communicators *ahem*

15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
UP Main Library, sa FA lockers area, sa Area 2 at Track Oval, at sa A Perfect Creation (Maginhawa St., UP Village, punta kayo)

16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
I love my boardmates, kaso hassle sa boarding house. Maingay, mausok, at laging walang tubig sa Molave, kaya ayoko din dun.

17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun?
BFA Visual Communication, BA Comparative Literature, BA Film, o BS BAA at Medicine kasi gusto ko lang magyabang haha.

18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
Bethany Mendoza! Yes! I miss you!

19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
Forgot. But it had nudity.

20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP.
Basta nasa BA, Econ, MassComm, Law, Gym, at AS Walk (UP HGC isdatchu? Hehe!) silang lahat. Kaya hindi ninyo ako makikita doon. Hahahahaha.

21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
UP AVCOM (hehe), UP CAM, UP Lunarock, UP Iris, at UP AdCore (notice a trend here)

22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
2 silang nag-recruit. Ewww, sororities.

23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
Manang Babes sa FA. At may sushi na sila? Sosyal!

24. Masaya ba sa UP?
Best years with the best people. Of course.

25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Oo naman.

26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council
Twice, kasi may mga blockmates ako sa council.

27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
STAND-UP, UP Artists' Circle (err...), Philippine Collegian, UP LFS...

28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
Hindi. Kaso nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin... :)

29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay na patay sa UP?
Kay J na siguro.

30. Kung di ka sa UP, anong school ka?
Ateneo. Seriously. :)